so you had a bad day....

Have you ever had days where you just want to curl up in a corner and cry.  Well minus me actually being able to curl up due to this overwhelming bump I am carrying but I can still think it.  Why am I having such a bad day... well I am just miserable.  I have gained so much weight, I travel for work and am just so uncomfortable having to walk around NYC (which I absolutely love doing on a normal basis), trying to get good sleep in a hotel is next to impossible.  On both my flights this week NO ONE offered to help me hoist my bag into the bin.  Seriously!  I can't believe how self absorbed people are.  I almost threw up when I dropped my phone on the airplane floor and tried to grab it.  My feet and ankles are unrecognizable AND I got the dreaded call.  My glucose test came back elevated so now I have to go sit at the hospital for 3 hours and have them poke and prod me for my blood.

I feel like I should be more excited and enjoying my pregnancy.  I feel bad like it is a sign that I don't love my soon to be born daughter.  I just hate not having the lifestyle I had prior to being pregnant.  My eating habits have gone to s**t and walking has become more of a chore than something enjoyable.  All I want to do is sit on the couch and watch tv and drown my sorrows (not as fun with water though).

I have wanted nothing more than to have a family and have kids.  At one time I wanted 4.  Now I am praying that my 2nd is a boy so that I can be done.  I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be so hard.  I know once I see her face it will all be worth it, but I am so nervous that I am not going to take it all in and just enjoy being her mom and her being my daughter.

Oh the thoughts of a hormonal soon to be mom!  Well thanks for letting me rant- I am off to the chiropractor for an adjustment!  Thanks to all the travel and weight gain my hips are out of whack and everything on my body aches!